Midwinter
After returning from some sun to the big smoke, I felt more in place. However, now my environment was having its own earthquake. Classes cancelled, friends going through tough times, Christmas craziness and I could go on with listing. So, this week I listened and observed and only shared when I was asked specifically. It was certainly different to have other people’s stories at the forefront of my mind.
I wrote a poem shortly before going on holiday called midwinter grace. I will have it up as a reel on my Instagram if anyone wants to see. Is anyone actually reading this btw? Not that I mind. This is rather therapeutic and that is it. The poem is mostly about having chaos roaming around us and how we relate to it and internalize tension and anger. I do have to always remind myself that even if I feel down or on extremes, those feelings might not be my own. I am like a sponge. I soak up everything and it takes time for me to sift through what is mine and what is not.
I looked at some of my friends who were telling me their current challenges and I must admit, all of those are very deep so I thought maybe these mood swings are not mine. I just pick up a momentary frequency that starts draining and then once I distance myself, it fades away and I return to my own axis. I like helping people and listening so that is always a hard boundary for me to keep. I know it is for my own benefit, but I let myself melt most of the time and there I have nothing to protect my energies. I do grounding meditations every morning and night but it seems I might be needing something extra for the month of December. Darkness soon will win over light for a moment and then the cycle begins again so I’ll preserve more of me until then.
I do feel that it is time to let go of some thoughts and ideas that keep me from moving forward. We seem to be friends only, and that is fine. I gained another one.
In other news, I am done with Christmas gift shopping! Yay. Ready for it all. Happy Holidays.
Keep breathing.
Love,
- A