Watercolor Stain

The sentence that started this poem is from the song Father Lucifer by Tori Amos (she is amazing so listen to her). I sometimes feel like a watercolor stain. Very opaque and light. But at the time this was written, I felt rather weak and insignificant. A situation that was turned against me and I ended up being the one on the blame because I did not speak up. This poem feels about accepting that whatever happened, happened, and we need to go on knowing that we do play some sort of part in most of our circumstances, whether we like it or not. Don’t let the weight of the past be the weight of tomorrow.

Be like water.

Written in Budapest, Hungary 2020

He says that I’m a watercolor stain,

light but powerful, vivid but not a main.

Maybe he should’ve been the frog

and not the prince. I guess my choices

were not absolutely brave. 

Love was in the broken moments

I thought they were golden but

never shined so bright. I rather felt crucified.

Why do we do that? Willingly hanged

on the cross just to make it real.

To make it beautiful.

To make it unforgettable. 

This is just another tale in the shadows.

And no one sees the truth.

I’d pay the highest price.

To make the diamond shine.

To hold you one more time. 

Nothing is going to stop me from

Talking to the morning star.

At least it knows that I was right.

To let you go and fly.

Tell me do you still survive? 

What about me? What about them?

And what about all the souls

That have cracks and craters

All over their costumes?

Maybe it’s time to wake up,

This is not a fairytale, where you’re the

Hero and I’m the mad March hare.

For one last time, I am that stain.

The one that brought the movement,

the one that turned out alright,

the one that still has its heart.

- A