Crawling

This album as a whole is very personal to me. It really captures those moments of tremors, riptides that shake us up, and I tried including very private poems of mine. Crawling seems to be so current in my life as it is about my anxiety. Now I don’t think we need to spend hours discussing the topic of mental health and wellbeing because I am very glad to see finally, we are taking it seriously. One of my riptides is anxiety. My attachment style is mostly like that, my thoughts can spiral out here and there and yeah, I have anxiety. Not all the time, but when it comes, it tries to take me away. Crawling is, for the lack of better categories, both and ode and a lament. It personifies my anxiety and its arrival and how I resignedly surrender to its being. Nothing else to say here. Be like water and breathe through the darkest moments. You will emerge victoriously. Ask for help if feeling lost.

Be like water.

Written in London, UK 2022

Go for it! 

I feel your growing presence 

In the slowness of my time.

It wrinkles and knots the

Secure layers and I can’t run

Your claws emerge from all

Around breaking the chains

I made in my mind and you 

Keep crawling, coming for me.

Tried to scream, it did not echo

Tried to speak but hope had 

Long been very unreachable 

Your nest is placed in the labyrinth 

Of my heart. Just tear me apart!

Right here and now!

I don’t want to loose myself

In the process of this sinking bough

You are here and I let you in.

Probably I said just come in.

Don’t know when but we are one 

And I call my home this faithless

Dark sun.

You will stay until you can and 

Then you come again. Maybe

I get ready next time and tie the

Ropes of pain. At least this 

Stays forever, right? And we

Will show it at the shrine.

Nothing else would be there,

Only this rondo of scarlet nightmare.

So come come come!

The door is open!

- A